if I tried to put what I'm feeling in to words...

I'm a girl who was about to get married with the prince charming and left alone on her way to the altar, or a child who was promised to have the dream toy, had a chance to play with it for a little bit to realize that is the perfect gift and then learn that no one will let her to play with it again or a footballer who had the perfect transfer to his dream team and then got injured and can't play anymore, or a oscar nominated actress who was given that she is the candidate to have the oscar and at the last minute, the trophy goes to someone else...

I've been working so hard to get to this point where I thought I accomplished something and it wasn't even the hardest part. I have chosen to do something that was tough, needed commitment, desire, knowledge. I knew what I was getting in to and now, just because I didn't fulfill my duties as a citizen, they have a right to take it away from me.

I'm not a wanting type. I don't want everything, or I don't get everything, I have to strive, struggle, crawl and maybe at the end get the least of it. But this time, I thought I deserved this. all of it. After all these years of trying to get to this point, putting all that hard work. I thought I had my dream at last. For god's sake, I have been working at a smoothie shop for the last 8 months just to be here and get the job. People are saying a right which is already given, cannot be taken that easily. But they can rip your heart out, make you wanna scream your lungs out, make you wanna die in seconds, at the end of the day, they will continue working at their workplace and today is a bad day with a collateral damage.

how am I suppose to move on... and please don't tell it is not the end of the world...